she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
