I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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