Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
