My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
