Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
