I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
