508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
