she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
