Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
