Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
that's an acceptable place to lick
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
