She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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