I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize