You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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