dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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