i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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