just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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