Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
