I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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