I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
