Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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