But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
