No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
