Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
