I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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