FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
