i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize