Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
