Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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