I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he wants to bone in the snuggie
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
