I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
