So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
