shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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