am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
