i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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