will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize