I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
