You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
