pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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