dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
