White coat. Heels.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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