I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
