So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
