If i come over, it means nothing
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
