He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
