Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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