She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
