bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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