you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
