I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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