Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
