if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
