that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
