Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize