im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Come on in and take your pants off
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