Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize