Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
